Over the past three days I heard some startling stories of frustration that erupted into violence. A microwave oven that was thrown out of a third floor window. A car driven in reverse at full throttle until hitting a parked car. A sibling pushed through glass door.
Some of the angry teens I work with define themselves as rage addicts. Out in the extreme emotion they claim a type of dominance over their troubles. But as relationships break and consequences with the law and elsewhere mount, the appearance of control becomes harder and harder to maintain. And the very frustration that is fueling the rage becomes even more entrenched.
Fortunately, there is a way out. One of the joys of our graduation weekend at The Family Foundation School is that alumni return and share their example of living successful lives in the 12 step mode. As one alumni, now entering his final year of college shared with a group of us. “The 12 steps are not just for addicts and drunks. It’s a way of living that can deal with any problem whatsoever. And who doesn’t have problems?”
Traveling around Capitol Hill yesterday to lend support for the efforts of the Senate to bring appropriate federal regulation and oversight to the residential placement of teens and children, I listened to an interesting conversation unfold.
It detailed the difficulties of a parent whose son was labeled learning disabled at an early age. A decade of struggle ensued with the school system as this mother attempted to have her child appropriately served.
After quietly listening, educational consultant and publisher Lon Woodbury responded,
“I prefer learning difference.”
Lon has shown that he is careful with words and the problems labels have cause. His essay on his preference for using struggling teens is a case in point.
When I later asked him to elaborate further concerning learning difference, he shared an interesting story of sitting in three semesters of a science class where the professor continually taught in a manner inconsistent with his learning difference. Regardless of his attempts, there was no access for him as a concrete thinker into the material. And his frequent questions in an attempt to find that access where met with “you are not getting it.”
Is there ever a case where this is an appropriate response for a teacher? I think that’s a question worth exploring. I propose our teachers try this one on for size : “I am not getting it to you…”
Tagged as:
learning difference,
struggling teens
