In recovery, re-establishing trust is a difficult hurdle that most struggle accepting. Often the time is takes for the healing sought exceeds what “seems” necessary. Often time when this complaint gets shared, those further along the path of recovery will provide the gentle reminder “that you took years walking into the forest, it will take years to walk out.”
Trust and transparency are not just issues for those in recovery.
“A recent study out of Stamford suggests that, strictly speaking, the average individual shades the truth 3-4 times in a typical 10 minute conversation. Most of us do this in a misguided attempt to protect something – a relationship, a person, a situation, a perception, even ourselves. It is, in fact, a subtle and somewhat indirect form of agency and enabling that falls within the purview of co-dependent relationship.” Michael Formica, The Addict’s Dilemma, Pt. 2
But for the addict, this ability to shade tends to go to the extreme. Hence the clear call that a program of recovery demands rigourous honesty. It useful to consider that rigourous honesty is about being on guard from the shading of the truth. Minimization and grandiosity are both forms of this shading which can quickly spin out of control into a web of lies if the addict is not vigilant in this matter.
